Inconvenient
=============
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self,
but the most inconvenient.
~Josh Billings~
Thursday, August 11, 2011
QUOTE - GETTING READY -Henry Ford
Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.
~Henry Ford~
~Henry Ford~
IM SMART = By: Unknown
I'm Smart
==========
My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes--I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head--
Too proud of me to speak!
==========
My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!
And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes--I guess he didn't know
That three is more than two!
Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!
And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!
And I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head--
Too proud of me to speak!
THE FATHER - By: Unknown
The Father
=======
After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church's
pastor slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and before he
gave his sermon for the evening, briefly introduced a guest
minister who was in the service that evening.
In the introduction, the pastor told the congregation that the
guest minister was one of his dearest childhood friends and that
he wanted him to have a few moments to greet the church and
share whatever he felt would be appropriate for the service.
With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit and began to
speak.
"A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the
Pacific coast," he began, "when a fast approaching storm blocked
any attempt to get back to the shore. The waves were so high,
that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could
not keep the boat upright and the three were swept into the
ocean as the boat capsized."
The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two
teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began,
looking somewhat interested in his story.
The aged minister continued with his story, "grabbing a rescue
line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of
his life: to which boy he would throw the other end of the life
line. He only had seconds to make the decision.
The father knew that his son was a Christian and he also knew
that his son's friend was not. The agony of his decision could
not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father yelled
out, 'I love you, son!' he threw out the life line to his son's
friend.
By the time the father had pulled the friend back to the
capsized boat, his son had disappeared beneath the raging swells
into the black of night. His body was never recovered."
By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up straight in the
pew, anxiously waiting for the next words to come out of the old
minister's mouth. "The father," he continued, "knew his son
would step into eternity with Jesus and he could not bear the
thought of his son's friend stepping into an eternity without
Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son to save the son's
friend. How great is the love of God that he should do the same
for us.
Our heavenly father sacrificed his only begotten son that we
could be saved. I urge you to accept his offer to rescue you
and take a hold of the life line he is throwing out to you in
this service."
With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as
silence filled the room. The pastor again walked slowly to the
pulpit and delivered a brief sermon with an invitation at the
end. However, no one responded to the appeal. Within minutes
after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man's
side.
"That was a nice story," politely stated one of the boys, "but I
don't think it was very realistic for a father to give up his
only son's life in hopes that the other boy would become a
Christian."
"Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied,
glancing down at his worn bible. A big smile broadened his
narrow face, he once again looked up at the boys and said, "it
sure isn't very realistic, is it?
But I'm standing here today to tell you that story gives me a
glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up his
son for me.
You see ---
I was that father and your pastor is my son's friend."
~Author Unknown~
=======
After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church's
pastor slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and before he
gave his sermon for the evening, briefly introduced a guest
minister who was in the service that evening.
In the introduction, the pastor told the congregation that the
guest minister was one of his dearest childhood friends and that
he wanted him to have a few moments to greet the church and
share whatever he felt would be appropriate for the service.
With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit and began to
speak.
"A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the
Pacific coast," he began, "when a fast approaching storm blocked
any attempt to get back to the shore. The waves were so high,
that even though the father was an experienced sailor, he could
not keep the boat upright and the three were swept into the
ocean as the boat capsized."
The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two
teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began,
looking somewhat interested in his story.
The aged minister continued with his story, "grabbing a rescue
line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of
his life: to which boy he would throw the other end of the life
line. He only had seconds to make the decision.
The father knew that his son was a Christian and he also knew
that his son's friend was not. The agony of his decision could
not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father yelled
out, 'I love you, son!' he threw out the life line to his son's
friend.
By the time the father had pulled the friend back to the
capsized boat, his son had disappeared beneath the raging swells
into the black of night. His body was never recovered."
By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up straight in the
pew, anxiously waiting for the next words to come out of the old
minister's mouth. "The father," he continued, "knew his son
would step into eternity with Jesus and he could not bear the
thought of his son's friend stepping into an eternity without
Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son to save the son's
friend. How great is the love of God that he should do the same
for us.
Our heavenly father sacrificed his only begotten son that we
could be saved. I urge you to accept his offer to rescue you
and take a hold of the life line he is throwing out to you in
this service."
With that, the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as
silence filled the room. The pastor again walked slowly to the
pulpit and delivered a brief sermon with an invitation at the
end. However, no one responded to the appeal. Within minutes
after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the old man's
side.
"That was a nice story," politely stated one of the boys, "but I
don't think it was very realistic for a father to give up his
only son's life in hopes that the other boy would become a
Christian."
"Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied,
glancing down at his worn bible. A big smile broadened his
narrow face, he once again looked up at the boys and said, "it
sure isn't very realistic, is it?
But I'm standing here today to tell you that story gives me a
glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up his
son for me.
You see ---
I was that father and your pastor is my son's friend."
~Author Unknown~
QUOTE - INSIDE - By: Jesse Duplantis
Inside
=======
Alwasy be more concerned about what's going on inside of you,
instead of what's going on around you.
~Jesse Duplantis~
=======
Alwasy be more concerned about what's going on inside of you,
instead of what's going on around you.
~Jesse Duplantis~
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
HUMOR - FOOD SPOILAGE TEST FOR BACHELORS
THE GAG TEST: Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).
EGGS: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS: Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yoghurt. Yoghurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.
MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS: Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
EXPIRATION DATES: This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.
MEAT: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three- block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
SALT: It never spoils.
LETTUCE: Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.
CANNED GOODS: Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.
CARROTS: A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.
UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.
EGGS: When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS: Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yoghurt. Yoghurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.
MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
FROZEN FOODS: Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
EXPIRATION DATES: This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.
MEAT: If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three- block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.
BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.
SALT: It never spoils.
LETTUCE: Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.
CANNED GOODS: Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.
CARROTS: A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.
RAISINS: Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.
POTATOES: Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
CHIP DIP: If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.
UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
CHINESE FORTUNE COOKIES
MICHELLEYou will inherit an unexpected sum of money within the year
(remember that..cause im interested in knowing from whom, and how much, lol)
DANIEL: Now is a good time to try something new.
(try to make it no so expensive. :)
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